The Feeling of the UnKnown is Sometimes a good Thing.......

(Photo taken by: SC)

Well where should I start, I will do my best to refrain myself from speaking bad about the liars and the snakes that I've come across this past year. Instead I will focus on sharing what such blessing God has blessed me with this past year. I will warn you i will probably start but not erase a darn thing if I start exposing people.  Some of the things that I thought where blessing didn't end as blessing (so I thought), but more as lessons learned and now that I have learned I have to teach myself at the end of it all it is a blessing because God had control.

I will like to go into the beginning of this past year. January 10th I got on the road with my Twins to check out our future home in Texas. I didn't know how I was gonna pay for all of our ways and how I was going to get my apartment and get all of my stuff there but God made it possible. The feeling of the unknown has always been something i fear but something I know as adults we all have to endure to get to the next level in life. Its a feeling of loneliness, abandonment a feeling of emptiness like no one else knows what your feeling and what your thinking and no one can help you feel better but what you are trying to accomplish. Have you ever felt that??
Well over the years I have taught myself more and more to get familiar with that feeling of fear of the unknown because that all means that GOOD is on its way. With good of course there is always BAD and the cycle always repeats itself just like the weather and seasons. But if you are able to take a bad and some how look at the out come of it as being a good it all ends up being in your favor.

Ok Ok, I never said it was going to be easy to live like thinking everything is is all good , it took me time to think this way and am still challenged by it everyday. It comes from a higher power I know it does because when I don't look to God to help me at my lowest points I act a damn fool to who ever & whenever then I end up going backwards and being the person I longer want to be. For example sometimes we go into relationships with very good intentions and thinking your in love but scared of the unknown, just chancing it will be what you always wanted. But instead you get out of them because it never ended up becoming what we thought it was.
 I can say I have been holding my tongue back on alot of things publicly but I hold my self back because in the end who will it really harm the most??? MYSELF...Im not perfect by any means but sometimes we just want to expose the people that hurt us and make them pay for the damage. Instead the best way for me to handle it is to write and share my experience with people like you that are reading this blog 

In the instant I felt abandoned and alone when things were left in the dark I also instantly saw light because I had been in this place before.
Sure enough next day I was called in for an interview at the job Ive been wanting  for the past few years and I landed the job. So even though I was feeling so low God was lifting me up even when I didnt want to be lifted up and everything was feeling surreal. Like how could all this bad be happening at the same time Good...That my friends is the best feeling in the world.
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I hope I didnt bore you with all that I was saying...i started writing this post in 2013 and as I am typing Its now 2014. I thought I would just vent at the time but I think I think the world should know what I feel and hope it finds the right person and helps them.